It’s okay to grieve
The first time I set the table when my oldest was at college I wept. Our party of five was now a party of four and I did not like the shift in our family dynamic. But that happens in the fall and here we are in late May which means it’s graduation time. A bittersweet time for so many moms.
If you have a child graduating from high school you might not be prepared for the host of emotions that will overwhelm you in the next few weeks. Be prepared when Pomp and Circumstance starts playing and you feel like you cannot breathe as the graduates make their way into the auditorium. You’ve raised this baby, you’ve experienced all of the ups and downs of motherhood and now you are at the crossroads of letting go and releasing them to the big, scary world. I remember those feelings well and no real guidance on how to process them. I’ve walked through this with my three, now adult, children and I wish I could tell you it gets easier with each one but in actuality it doesn’t because they are each precious and bring a different energy to your family.
I cried..a lot. It actually started at the beginning of their Senior year because every milestone was “the last” and as the year went on it was more and more emotional. I treasured every second, cemented the memories into my brain and took pictures, lots of pictures. You raised them for this and logically you know it’s time to let go and you’ve done your job well. But let me tell you it is an actual loss and like any loss, you need to grieve. A chapter is closing and you have every right to acknowledge and validate those emotions. Don’t let people minimize your sadness and go through the stages of grief like any other death. You may also feel differently than your spouse or other moms and that’s ok. If it’s too lonely, seek help from a counselor or a wise, older friend who has walked this road before you.
Having survived I can tell you that there is joy on the other side. Adult children are your friends without the drama and it’s so fun to share more grown up conversations with them about life, marriage and what really matters.
And one day you will come to treasure your empty nest- I never thought it would be so but it’s actually a glorious time in your marriage…full of adventures, spontaneous dinners, more free time and no more carpool!
